The Ebb And Flow

I used to want to update my blog every day. Multiple times a day, even. I had such an urge to just write write write, all the time, that I actually had to curb it. I had to consciously prevent myself from updating, telling myself I was overdoing it. I'd even write stuff and save it in backlog to use later, until I started developing so much of a backlog that I'd never be finished. Those were the days. I should have indulged myself in those days. Because now, every post is a struggle. I have nothing to say, nothing to write, ever. This blog becomes a responsibility more than anything else. Just another responsibility over my head, like everything else in my life. I have to fight hard to scrounge up something to write about in my blog now. I'm struggling at this very moment to come up with the next word, the next sentence. It's become so hard. And the quality! Don't even get me started on the lamentable decline in quality...

Maybe this blog is over? Has my search for the eternal sunshine of a spotless mind come to an end? Should I pull the plug on this dying thing being propped up by nothing but life-support machines? I suppose only time will tell, and only I can know when. But it's weird. I never really thought about the end of this blog before. Today is the first day I have become aware of the mortality of my blog. The end is coming. It always has.