Taking Criticism

Taking criticism is hard. But it's part of becoming a better writer, and I welcome it. However, what makes taking criticism especially difficult is when two critics disagree and tell you different things. For example, one group member has told me that he/she felt that the John character was likable. Another felt that John isn't likeable and needs to be made more interesting. One person felt that the tone was too funny/satirical and the other felt that it was a good, solid tone. Who do I trust to be "right?" in cases of direct contradiction? Am I allowed to just say that some people "got" the movie while other people "missed" it? Because in these cases, it's impossible to take all criticism as God's truth. Someone has to be wrong. I have to choose to trust somebody. And that's the hardest part of taking criticism.

Feels Good!

It feels good to finish a screenplay, even if it's only a first draft, and I anticipate (and welcome) many criticisms and revisions. Here are some concerns I have about my screenplay now that it's "done."

- Is there any dialogue that is unnecessarily addressing obvious themes, or is the dialogue necessary to highlight what may not be easy to catch otherwise?
- Does John wearing women's clothing work ok, or is it too silly/distracting to imagine visually?
- Is the length OK? (It spills a little bit into page 14, so I'd love to be able to get it to 13)
- How "believable" is the John-Charlene dynamic?
- Do the daydream sequences work well or can they be improved?
- Does the structure make sense or is there a way I can rearrange things to make it better?
- What is the tone of the movie is? What should it be?

Anyway, I like a lot of what I've written. I just hope it works. I can never tell if I've pulled off what I've wanted to pull off. I guess that's up to others to decide for me.

Charlie's Eternal Sunshine

I just read the screenplay for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I must say, Kaufman's version is much darker and more pessimistic than what finally made it to film. The meat of the movie is mostly the same, but the parts that got excluded really throw a completely different spin on the whole story. I wonder, now, since the Academy gave the film the Best Screenplay Oscar, if they give out that award based on reading actual scripts, or based on watching the film, which, obviously, is very different. I hope they actually read screenplays, but for some reason, I doubt this very much. Anyone have a clue?

The Half-Blood Prince

I just finished reading the 6th Harry Potter book, took me about 3 days, what with taking classes and stuff, too, and...

I am at a loss for words.

I feel like crying.

Best book yet.

What a ride.

That's all I can say.

I also saw Layer Cake tonight. Intense. I don't know how many surprise endings like that I can take in one night, man.

What I've Been Working On

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT

Six STRANGERS ride up the elevator of an apartment building.

The first, a middle-aged WOMAN. The second, a long-haired COLLEGE STUDENT wearing headphones. The third, a clean-cut THIRTYSOMETHING with dark-rimmed glasses and a messenger bag. The fourth, a MAN IN A SUIT writing reminders into his PDA. The fifth, a tired looking WOMAN IN A PANTSUIT holding a cardboard box full of documents.

The last, JOHN WHITEMAN, 35. He wears a clean white shirt and black pants. He has a white name-tag that says “JOHN” in plain black letters.

Nobody looks at each other in the elevator, except for John, who closely watches each person leave, one by one. His eyes follow the lines on everyone’s expressions.

Finally, John leaves and the elevator doors close.

INT. JOHN’S APARTMENT - 4 A.M.

John’s eyes stare at a television flashing blue and red colored light around a completely dark room.

He lies on his side on the couch in the fetal position, one hand dangling a remote. He flips through the various channels as his blank face intermittently changes colors in the television’s glow.

TELEVISION (O.S.)
... now and we’ll throw in this handy video of different exercises you can do, FREE! Don’t you think you deserve that beautiful body you’ve always wanted? Well now’s...
(click)
... these girls get WILD, absolutely FREE! You’ll never find a collection THIS BIG of...
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First Page

The first page of my screenplay went under the gun today, and it wasn't very pretty. My attempt at making an interesting credit sequence was killed (I need to curb my tendency to direct from the page). People just weren't into it, because there was too much description, I guess. I didn't realize that I repeat myself so much when I write, that I write so many redundant phrases: "stare unblinkingly"; "legs tucked in the fetal position"; "dangles loosely"; etc. Being precise and economic with my words will be a big challenge, I think.

Dirty Linen

I think I've decided to do the "Dirty Linen" idea. It seems like people are most intrigued by that one, plus I get to explore issues of identity and stuff, which is something I muse about all the time. Anyway, I just wrote down some notes:

- watches TV instead of making out with girlfriend
- lots of lonely brooding
- white color motif: shirt, walls
- John White? John Whitmore?
- 1) Businessman - screws secretary
2) Doctor - malpractice
3) Female lawyer - saves criminals
4) Drugs?
5) Musician? - coke
6) Actor? - homosexuality
- John is juvenile, Peter Pan complex
- final ending: impersonates son and tries to enter family home
7) Wife of normal home

The Rushmore Script

I liked the Rushmore script very, very much. I think Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson write great stories that pay very acute attention to quirky little details. Little touches like Max and Herman Blume eating sandwiches as they survey the land from a helicopter are humorously endearing. Anderson/Wilson have a way of making normally darker subjects seem at worst slightly melancholy or bittersweet. For example, Max cuts Mr. Blume's brakes at one point, basically trying to kill him. But when it happens in the movie, it isn't dark, evil, threatening, or menacing; it's just kind of juvenile and funny. All the feelings that are hurt in the movie feel real, even when the actual plot or action is ludicrous; the movie is very human in the way it deals with relationships between characters. I especially enjoyed the smaller, less-obvious ones outside of the Max/Miss Cross/Mr. Blume love triangle. Max and his father. Max and Dirk. Even one-scene moments like Max with Mrs. Blume or Dirk confronting Mr. Blume are realistic and touching. I love how age really doesn't matter in this movie when it comes to dialogue. It's funny how mature and serious Dirk is, for example, even though he's 9 years old, and the little detail of the way he writes so articulately, but in blue crayon make his character come alive. Other details include Magnus giving Max shit throughout the whole movie only to reveal that he always wanted to be in one of his plays as well... Miss Cross telling Max she started smoking his age, and then seeing Max smoking occasionally through the rest of the movie... It's the accumulation of small details like that that make each and every character come alive, and the entire story come alive.

There was also an obvious water/aquatic theme. I don't know if that's just an Anderson/Wilson thing in light of The Life Aquatic, or if the water has a deeper thematic meaning.

Slow Death

This blog may not have much left to offer. I turn 20 tomorrow. Nothing is eternal.

The Badlands Script

I didn't like the Badlands script, as far as story. I just didn't find it that interesting. However, the style is very good, because it's very lean, and fits a lot of description into few words. A lot happens in only 70 pages, which is impressive. I just didn't enjoy reading the story very much. I didn't really think Kit was all that charming of a guy, even if he looks like James Dean. He just seemed like a bum with too many screws loose. Holly's a little weird too, I didn't think it was realistic at all when Kit shoots her father and she barely even winces. Of course, maybe I'm missing something. That's always a possibility.

Screenplay Ideas

"Dirty Linen"
- guy works at a dry cleaner
- tries on people's dirty clothes and pretends to live their lives
- like One Hour Photo

homage to the hippies
- young dude with long hair, smokes cigarettes, weed, drives van, wears Fuck Bush shirt
- difficulties of doing that 60s thing in the new century

"Roommates"
- explore various/funny roommate-relationship experiences/situations
- one from Stonington, CT, the other from San Francisco, CA

something dealing with remaining true/genuine/indie versus selling out

guy talking to camera confessional/High Fidelity style about...
- pet peeves?
- life?
- society?
- something?

time moving backwards on a spaceship towards some Day 0 event

Asimov's papyrus short story

something from the history of cinema, inspired by the history of cinema

"Wes Anderson: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tenenbaums"

Insanity

Live 8 Philadelphia was wild. Go to http://www.live8list.com/ to add your name to the petition to end poverty.

"You've got to find the voice speaking to you."

Good conversation about being a writer, man.