shamble shamble

after the door slammed behind you and you left my room and my life forever
i remembered the night before when i thought you looked happy asleep
on the couch and i remembered how that made me cry because
you were never that happy awake maybe if i remembered to clean the sink
this time we would love each other honestly that's what i thought
how sad is that? i knew it wasn't the sink though or the snoring
or the time i accidentally opened the cupboard too fast and hit your head
and you yelled at me and cried for two hours and left the apartment
while it was raining and i thought you crashed and died it was already 3 am
where the fuck were you? and i yelled at you when you got back
and called you a bad thing maybe two bad things but it was late
so we both went to bed pretty soon after that and i never got to say sorry
we just went to our favorite restaurant in silence the one we go to
every saturday morning and you always got the chicken
and i always tried something different until i tried it all
well it just so happened that day would be the last day
we would eat there together it would be the last day i would ever eat there
because i could never go back anyway there was only one dish left
i hadn't tried it was the chicken i said this was momentous
and you looked at me with tired eyes but a smile
that smile made me remember the time in the summer we went to the park
and i bought you some ice cream and you spilled it on your shirt
and got upset but then i thought what the hell
and smashed my ice cream cone over my shirt and we both laughed
and laughed on the park bench as people walked by wondering
who the hell these two lunatics were with ice cream on their chests
you said we should tell people we just escaped from the hospital
and needed pretzels and that made me laugh
because it was our little inside joke about the pretzels
nobody would ever understand about the pretzels
and i'm not going to explain it now
because you already know what i'm talking about
and i don't want anyone else to know as i heard your car drive away
i wanted to remind you to wear your seatbelt because you always forget
to wear your seatbelt and i always have to remind you
but then i realized again that you had just left my room
and my life forever so it didn't matter now if you wore your seatbelt
or not because if you got into a car crash today and died or not
i'd never see you again anyway