Compulsive Lying

My grandmother is the person who designs the little patterns on all those Dixie cups you see. She sits in the office they give her at the headquarters everyday doodling little floral designs in colored pencil. My brother is an archaeologist in Peru right now, looking for traces of Antarctic remnants back when all the land mass on earth was in one big continent, Pangea. His girlfriend, incidentally, is working in Antarctica now. She's a botanist. I don't understand what they would need a botanist for in Antarctica. There aren't any plants there. My sister and my parents had a big fight today. She left home, and she hasn't come back yet. She's a really artsy, intellectual person, so she doesn't like things like authority. Our parents can get pretty authoritative sometimes; my dad retired from the CIA and now runs the local Quizno's restaurant. He's all about structure. My mom is a bit better; she is a Jazzercise dance instructor, so she knows something about self-expression. But she loves my dad way too much to tell him anything he doesn't want to hear, and the last thing he wanted to hear today was that his daughter was moving away to Hollywood to spite them. But she is. She called me secretly a couple of hours ago. She's on her way, she caught a Greyhound. I know she'll survive out there, because she's cool like that. She might even make it big, who knows? I want to tell mom that she called and that she's OK, but I haven't gotten the chance yet. As for me? I'm normal. I don't travel around the world looking for historical Antarctic artifacts, or yell at my parents and run away from home to pursue a career in Hollywood, I'm no botanist in Antarctica, no ex-CIA agent, I don't do Jazzercise. I'm probably the most normal person in my family... except for my one and only quirk, my one true character flaw. I'm a compulsive liar. Everytime I meet somebody new, I have to lie. I even lie to my closest friends all the time because I can get away with it. In fact, this entire paragraph is all lies. I made all of it up. I don't have a brother. Everything you've read so far has been a lie. Isn't that scary? But I'm completely normal otherwise... I promise.